he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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