i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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