I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
