So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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