this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
