Is it normal to miss your booty call?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
