I heard we made out
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize