Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
