I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
