Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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