the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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