So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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