dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He did a backflip because drugs
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
