kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
BRING THE BAGELS
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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