goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
