Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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