he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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