I hope mine doesn't look like that
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
