he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Barsexuality is the new black.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
