i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Randomize
