is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
