Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
barbara walters just said penis...
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Say something about gay babies.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
