Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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