Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
