He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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