hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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