I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
