i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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