Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
