I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
