i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
