"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
