haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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