I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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