fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
