Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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