So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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