i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
