$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
