Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
