how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
