dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
