It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
