I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he thought i was a dude.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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