Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
