I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The feeling are messing with the penis
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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