Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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