Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
