it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
