I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
