I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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