i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she pinky promised me she was 18
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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