Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
