new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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