I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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