Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
