shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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