i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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