OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
