I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My feet surprised me
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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