OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
