You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
