if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
