He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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