Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
