if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
